A New Refugee

This morning, when I opened the door to let the dog out, this little guy scampered in. I think the wind might’ve blown him in to be honest we’ve had some mighty strong gusts coming through lately. It took me a few minutes to get him close to me. But finally, with a can of Fancy Feast, he decided to trust me.

He has been bathed, de-flead. He has been tucked away safely into the bedroom. I certainly wasn’t going to let him stay outside and get hurt or killed on the highway. If I had to guess where he came from, I would say he came from across the road. I know the gentleman who lives there he showed up on my doorstep a few months ago asking me how much it would be to get his mama-cat spayed; she’d just had kittens.Once I told him how much it was, he grumbled about it and said it would cut into his beer money. 

So I suspect that’s where this little guy came from. He weighs a little over two pounds. I don’t have any kitten food for him yet. I need to make an order with Chewy today, but I have to wait for the bank to open. For some reason, since they’ve upgraded their system; I can’t get in sync with their new program and my computer.

He’s definitely very vocal. He is afraid of Kota, but that will change over time I am sure. There’re already two kittens across in the road that didn’t make it across the highway safely so at least this little guy won’t have to play Road Roulette anymore.

His name is going to be Falstaff...

A Little Bit Defeated

Waking up this morning, and seeing sweet Cricket curled up on my blanket did not diminish the feeling of defeat that washed over me yesterday after my appointment with my orthopedic surgeon. He has not seen me since my falls. He did commend me on not hurting my right shoulder and thus causing the apparatus that’s living in my arm right now to have to be repaired or replaced.

They took another set of x-rays, even though the emergency room had done a very thorough job of it. When he saw my left side, my shoulder and my arm, he very gently told me that now I need a left shoulder replacement. Apparently that snap I heard when I hit the floor turned out to be the complete tearing of two rotator cuffs.

We had a long conversation after that. I’m sure I put him over his limit of only 15 minutes with his patients. However, he was quite thorough in telling me that I have a two-year window to decide whether or not I want to have this surgery again. It was decided that he would order an MRI on both shoulders.

As far as my knee-pain and leg-pain, he is referring me to a general orthopedic doctor so he can assess what’s going on, but he said based on the x-rays that he’s looking at from October 2 and October 4, he would surmise that I did something pretty bad to my patella. He did tell me on a brighter note that for a 70 year old woman, my knees look in pretty good shape; however, my shoulder is a whole other story.

I am still not whole after the last surgery they did. They messed up, they are not owning that. They are telling me that the reason I can’t use my right hand properly is due to arthritis. I stood up to their claim by telling them that before that surgery, I had I could use my right hand completely without issues. To think about going through all of that again now and maybe coming out the same way with a useless left hand, would make me wonder about my own quality of life.

So, once again, I’m in a waiting pattern for the upcoming MRI results. Right now, I feel fairly defeated. I have no one to blame but myself; no one pushed me down the stairs or tripped me. Well, actually, the kittens kind of tripped me unintentionally. That, however, does not diminish the love I feel for them. I got really irritated with my physical therapist the other day when she told me to “get rid” of all my cats. I told her what I’ve told countless people in the past when they contact me and say they want to get rid of their cats and would I take them in. My standard reply to those two words: I only “get rid” of garbage. Cats are not garbage.

My plan going forward is to shake off this feeling of defeat and fight this as hard as I can to keep from having this surgery again. I will continue to use my treadmill to help strengthen my leg in my knee. I can’t do hours on this machine. I have gone from doing 10 minutes of walking a day to 30 minutes. It has to be helping because last night I wanted so desperately to climb into bed. So I did. I felt no pain in my legs and I was able to sleep for the first time in quite a few months in my bed. 

The other day, a friend of mine came over and helped me down my stairs. I went back into the main cat enclosure. I wanted to see my babies so bad. I found Magoo hiding under the blanket on the couch, but the minute I started talking to him and lifting the blanket, he backed away from me like he didn’t even know me. I couldn’t find Pigeon. I did finally locate Ash. I was able to pet her, but it broke my heart because her ears were back the entire time. PITA who was still in her cage. I was able to pet her and she was all over me. I was saddened to see that the litter boxes in her bottom of her cage were completely overflowing. I had asked people when they went in there to feed my kitties to please make sure that those that are boxes were dumped and refilled or cleaned. That’s not happening.

My goal from here on in is to keep trying to get down those two steps safely without assistance. I can get back up those two steps without assistance. It’s going down them that is troublesome.

All of this is happening during a time in my life where I still feel the loss of Michael deeply. I miss him still.

Gibby has just jumped on my lap to remind me that it is late in the morning. I haven’t fed them because I overslept. I’d best get up and get out of my doldrums; face the day of new challenges with a smile instead of a frown. Talk to God and ask for His guidance. Quite simply continue to take this journey, one step at a time.

A Prisoner

I love these girls so much. Not seen in this photo is Flash - she was wrapped around my neck, providing me a lot of comfort while purring in my ear.

A few days ago, I woke up in the morning and tried to get out of my chair and couldn’t move. My left leg felt like it was on fire. I looked down and I was swollen from my mid-calf to my toes. My leg was red, and it was hurting so bad. Every time I try to get out of my chair, I fell back on my chair. 

Not knowing what else to do I dialed 911. One paramedic was afraid of Kota, and wanted him to be put in another room. I called Kota back from the door. He obeyed. I told him “Kota get on the couch.” He obeyed. Then I told him to “Stay!” He stayed there until the paramedics left.

I am aching to get back to my main enclosure. I talk to my cats every morning out the kitchen window. They all come running, except for PITA - since she’s in the cage. But I talk to them and I just want to go out there, pick them up, love on them, surround myself with their kitty love. Yet I can’t. I am prisoner in my own house.

But these three girls, even Aspen and Addie are sticking to me like Velcro. A lot of people are telling me to get rid of my cats and my kittens. The only thing I “get RID of” in my house is garbage! I do not consider cats garbage.

Well, I need to go. I’m going to sit here, finish my tea, then go and start my exercises. Such a beautiful day outside after the ugly weather that we’ve had. I can’t even go outside and enjoy the sun.

Ms Addie Relents

After almost a full year of spitting, hissing and posturing, Ms Addie as decided that perhaps the girls aren’t as bad as she thinks they are. This is the first time where she has allowed Gibby to snuggle up to her back without starting a war.

I am encouraged and hope that this behavior on her part continues. I had another incident at home recently. I ended up being transported to the hospital via ambulance. It looks highly likely that tomorrow after I see my provider, I probably will be going back to the hospital this time for a short stay. The accident has left me with the inability to walk on my left leg.

Comfort at Home

My girls always seem to know when I’m not doing well. Recently, I had a really rocky visit with the surgeon. He did warn me that he was going to inject my hand three times with what he called a “mean” shot.

That certainly gave me a pause to stop and consider. I asked him to please let me go to my happy place first, but he was too impatient and I didn’t quite get there before he injected me.

 

I heard a woman screaming in what I thought was the background. I didn’t realize until after he was finished, that woman was me. I remember thinking that this woman was clearly in a lot of pain and I felt sorry for her. I’m not sure what I did to the MA’s hand who was holding mine. But I’m sure I must’ve mashed it pretty bad.

The surgeon explained to me that the reason that it was more painful than usual is because my nerves are still disconnected, they are still inflamed, pretty angry and out of sorts. Further, he explained that the majority of people suffering the complications that I have been dealing with since the surgery. 50% of them will recover fully. However, we will not know for several months if that’s happening.

For now, they want to see me for the next four months. Thankfully, this time they don’t want to see me every week. This time the visits have slowed down to every two weeks.

 

I am hoping these three injections will work. The pain was so intense. It honestly felt like they were flames coming out my fingertips. When I got home, the girls couldn’t climb on me fast enough. You can’t see Kota, but he is lying beside me on the floor. It was a difficult day. They all brought me such comfort the minute I walked through the door.

A Future for Salem

Salem has had all her drains removed, plus all of her stitches. She was supposed to wear the cone for another additional three days, but it appears she had her own idea about that. She removed it in the middle of the night and I don’t know where she put it, but I cannot find it. I suspect she put it under the sofa bed. There’s no way I’m going to move that just to find her cone

The plan going forward, although she has been semi feral in the yard for 15 years, is to introduce her to the other kittens in time. I am hoping she will be happy to spend the rest of her life indoors. 

What brings me hope - she doesn’t seem to be wanting out. No screaming at the door, no interest even in going out in the catio - not even when her old friend stopped by to say hi on the outside of the cage. Tomorrow, I plan on going in to the cat room and cleaning it out and getting rid of all the medical supplies and stuff stored in there. I’m sure if she could she would say “Good riddance!”

I just spent the better part of four hours cleaning out the cat enclosure. Just the main one. I’m only tackling one at a time. It has been quite a while since I have been in there. Now it looks nice and presentable. I know it won’t last. I am sore as heck, but I got it done. 

If someone would like to send us some dry cat food. We would sure appreciate it. We are feeding Cat Chow-Purina Indoors as well as Friskies seafood mixture. I had another emergency with my pump in my well. There was not a cost I was expecting. I went three days without water (again) my neighbor was kind enough to throw his hose over the fence. But I still had to haul water in the house in buckets. I did it carefully as I could. But I had no choice. It had to be done.

If You Still Want To Donate

Now that I am no longer an official rescue, and no longer a registered charity, donations cannot be sent to me by a PayPal donation button. But there are still cats who have been rescued who need food and medicine, still feral cats who depend on me for their sustenance; I might not be rescuing others any more, but those rescued before are still with me and have requirements. If you feel that you would like to help, I would be grateful. I cannot send a tax receipt in return, however.

The best way to donate would be to open a PayPal account (it doesn’t cost anything) and send money that way. Once you have an account, just log in and hit the big blue ‘send’ button; type @MaryAnneCats in the address bar for the destination and then put in the amount you wish to donate. There will be a small fee.

You can also leave a comment on my blog and we can connect through email and arrange things that way.

Either way, I and the cats would appreciate it.

My Reality Check

Mr. Sterling left about an hour ago. He went to his new home in another town about an hour away from me. This morning when I woke up, I had an epiphany. I can’t do this anymore. I shut down my nonprofit for a reason. I cannot do the work anymore. That realization became quite clear to me when I discovered I couldn’t even pick Sterling up correctly. My hand does not want to form around anything that I am picking up. I can’t even open up the Sheba kitten food packet because in order to do that you have to hold the container and then peel the heavy foil back. Again, my right hand said “Nope” even giving him his medicine was difficult. My right hand shakes periodically. My trigger fingers on my right hand fire off whenever they want to. I just realized that I can’t do the work at all anymore.

I called his new mom, she was so excited to come and get him. I gave her a long list of what to do and not to do with him because he’s not out of the woods until he gets so sutures out. This is definitely going to terrify him. He is a scaredy-cat.

I had no choice. He was a lot of work and I got him to the point where he’s not so much work. But I can’t have him here. Having back to back therapy appointments that run an hour at least has left me so exhausted. I did everything I could do to get him healthy.

At this point in his life, he’s not acting like a normal kitten. But he is had so much going on with him. We have no idea of his history, but I am afraid that he’s sick beyond just the surgery that he’s had and the pain that he’s endured. But I’m hoping for the best because he really is a sweet boy.

Sterling Back from Surgery

Sterling came home yesterday late in the day. He was very lethargic, kind of loopy moving in circles. I put him into his cage. I made some adjustments while he was at the vet, knowing he’s going to be in an e-collar. I did not want a carrier inside the cage; I didn’t want him bumping his collar all over the place and stressing him out further.

I gave him a tiny bit of food and some water. It was close to bedtime so I off to bed I went. I set my alarm periodically checking on him. He has three sutures in the tip of his tail that’s left. He was doing quite well until I checked on him at 2 a.m. His e-collar was off. He was sitting upright in his cage, looking quite proud of himself. The little scamp.

Quickly checking his sutures, I was relieved to see they were still intact. I had kitty-proofed the room previous while he was at the vet. I couldn’t have him get under the couch: that would’ve been a bad deal.

Because of the nature of my injuries after surgery, having the cage on the floor was not working for me. I enlisted the help of a kind neighbor who came over and we lifted the cage up on top so that it was chest level for me. It is a lot easier now to care for him.  

He had a 10-minute supervised walk-about in the cat room. There was no wobble in his walk. He was alert, showing no pain, and his eyes were clear. He did explore every corner looking for an escape. He is so used to roaming the streets. I know that he’s a bit confused about what has happened to his freedom.

After his 10-minute jaunt, I gently picked him up  putting him back in his cage and the dreaded e-collar went back on him. It’s been a lot of years since I’ve had an injured kitten to care for. It was gratifying to see that my vet has gone away from the stiff plastic e-collars to the soft flexible ones. Sterling still doesn’t like it, but I do!

He’s eating and drinking. Thankfully, he’s pooping in the litter box. I found some exceptional cat litter made by Arm & Hammer at Walmart. It’s not clay litter or clumping litter. It’s made of corn fibers. Right now, he is snuggled up to snuggle-puppy. He seems very content. I hope he understands that there are people who love him. People who are praying for him. And one person in particular waiting in the wings for when she can bring him home. Yes, he has a home. I do not need any more cats. Currently there are 14 cats living here in my sanctuaries.

As for me, I went to my physical therapist on Monday. My occupational therapist on Tuesday. Today I can barely move. My hand and fingers are extremely swollen. I ache all over. But as they say no pain no gain. My homework from my PT is to actively make my right arm swing when I walk. She also is giving me a bit of a hard time because my posture is not what it should be. I am 6 feet tall and apparently I have uneven shoulders. On my OT side, he wants me to really try to make a fist. To go past the pain that’s bearable into the pain that is not. I will do my best, however working with frozen fat fingers, it is a bit difficult. I just don’t have that flex anymore.

I just checked on Sterling before I get on with my day. I will be staying home. We are getting another heat wave here soon. I have to figure out how to keep Sterling cool not having central heat and air in my home. I have a lot of electric fans, though.

Sterling's newly stumpy tail

Sterling and his snuggle-puppy

Sterling

Friday brought me a new arrival. Yes, I have a new kitten. He is a very brave kitty. He has a degloved tail. Observing his injuries makes me think that he must have gotten into a car engine and the car started. I don’t know if he screamed. They heard him and stopped the car, somehow he managed to escape and run away. No one to help him over his injuries, he was on his own. It has been so long since it happened that ‘proud flesh’ has taken over. His eyes were glassy and full of pain. His nose was running. He was sneezing and coughing. He had fleas everywhere, even around his eyes. It’s been quite some time that I have seen a kitty with so many fleas. Ear flaps were black. He was literally a mess. But somewhere in there is a beautiful dilute mackerel tabby.

I gently picked him up. The end of the tail was denuded and dry. I could see that proud flesh was starting to grow. I put my hand under his stomach and started probing gently to see if kitty had had been wounded anywhere else. I also felt the beginnings of two testicles. He’s a he.

I don’t know if you’ve ever known a kitty who had a degloved tail or not. But proud flesh is extremely hard to heal. It takes forever for the body to cover the wound, essentially pushing all of the dead and decaying tissue away.  I could see where it was sluffing off. The smell was putrid, indicating infection.

He had a high fever, which since has broken. I put him immediately on amoxicillin. I’ve given him meloxicam for his pain. I’ve been putting ointment on his tail at least 5 to 6 times a day. It dries out so fast. It will actively bleed for no reason. I tried to get him into the vet, but there were no openings.

I am calling the new kitty Sterling. He needs quiet. He is in a cage, a very large cage in my cat-room. My other cats have been bounced out of the room and they are not happy. But he is the sole occupant. I’m keeping the room dark, his cage covered. Feeding him four times a day, canned and dry. He’s eating like a horse. He is peeing, but he’s not peeing in the litter pan. His litter is shredded paper. It sticks to his tail sometimes like glue. I had to completely redo the inside of his cage. Taking out all the blankets in the sheets I had for him and for padding.

Eventually, he pooped; massive diarrhea all over his carrier. He will not use the litter pan. What he does is he goes over to the litter pan and scoops out a good amount of shredded paper, then pees on it. He pooped inside the carrier.

Sterling will be here for a very long time. As I said, proud flesh has a mind of its own and it’s very challenging to heal. He has been de-flead, he will be dewormed in four days. I feel so sorry for him. I can look in his eyes and know that he is just so painful. All he wants to do is sleep and decompress. I looked it up online, and if they amputate his tail, which I’m sure they will, the cost of the surgery is anywhere from $880 to $1,121.

UPDATE: I just got back from the vet. Sterling is having his surgery right now; his tail will be docked, he’ll be neutered, equipped with an e-collar, given a long-lasting pain shot and vaccinated. It will be a little less than $880, but still much more than I have right now. If anyone wishes to donate, contact me, please.

In particular, Sterling needs Sheba brand cat-food. Any donations of this would be great. Sterling and I would be very grateful.

A Work in Progress

What I still cannot do with my dominant hand…

Open doors.

Open any type of pop, top cans, especially cat food cans.

Open jar, lids, and plastic containers.

I am re-learning how to write.

My right hand shakes so bad some people believe I have Parkinson’s disease.

I am unable to drive.

Cannot drive my riding lawnmower.

I am unable to make a fist.

Brush my teeth.

Shampoo my hair.

Eat with silverware.

Pick up anything off the floor.

Reach anything on a shelf higher than my waist.

Walk Kota more than 20 minutes without pain.

Pick up anything heavier than a empty soda pop can.

Getting dressed in the morning properly is a struggle.

Pick up my kittens or my cats.

Pet Kota with two hands.

Text or type.

So far due to the extreme swelling of my fingers and my arm, my right arm is completely useless to me. They tell me that it will take eight months to a year before they know if I will fully recover from the complication of the surgery. They cannot guarantee me that I will have full function of my arm, fingers or my shoulder, or even be able to lift my arm to reach the top shelf in grocery stores, which is something I could do before the surgery.

I am working very hard to prove them wrong. Doing all the exercise exercises as many times a day as I can, and if I’m doing chores around the house, I try to incorporate the exercises with my household chores.

I am fighting to get back and be myself again.